Carman IV-They don’t make’em like they used to

The particular phrase of the title could apply to just about anything, but it is mainly used when speaking about cars. “They don’t make’em like they used to”… How true is it and what else does it bring along with it?
When it comes to cars, personally I’m blind to beauty and external looks… well, let us say almost blind! I have no trouble to fall for an aesthetically ugly car, but I would never compromise on the mechanical specifications, which lie underneath. If we would take that to a sexual innuendo, a sexy looking woman or man, might after all prove not to be as sexy as they look, when it comes to the actual sex…
Looks are welcome in a car or elsewhere, but they can be (and most of the times are…) deceiving… Yet, most cars are purchased by how they look, in an “I like this, I hate that” fashion. And most sales are done by people who don’t even test drive them before they buy them… when a test drive is the “actual sex” we did mention earlier. Note: To drive around the block is no test drive. A car test drive should be a long weekend… alone… together… and far away.    
Now that we have our innuendos behind us let’s speak about beauty… The simple reason why “old” cars were far more beautiful, when compared to “newer” cars, has to do with computers interfering with design. Old-timers were fully designed by hand, without any kind of interference from computers into the design… Naturally we must admit that with the course of time, this “computer flaw” has almost been eliminated, and has also been used in order to improve design, so, genuine beautiful cars are back on the streets once more… Nevertheless some “handmade” designs will never be repeated and though aesthetics is relative and a question of personal taste, I will dare an example just on one car…

In the early ’50s, Mercedes produced a revolutionary for its time car, that was unique in both engineering and design. It was nicknamed Gullwing because the doors would open towards the sky, giving the impression of flying… Now which car would “kill” with its looks by just standing there and having both doors open? This one did!
As we speak you can place your order for your 2010 Gullwing which is back on the streets as a re-make of that classic design. If you take the moment to compare those two on the internet you will be… aesthetically rewarded! Next step is to conduct the “experiment of the ignorant”. Put the old and new Gullwing side by side, in the same classic color (silver) and let… granny choose. Just ask: “Which one between those two would you like for a present at your birthday?” Author’s important note: Make absolutely sure granny was not a co-driver with some of the old lunatic rear-wheel drive rally legends…
The most interesting comparison between old and new (as seen from the standpoint of today) is that we have more than enough comebacks, of the “exact” same model, some decades later, produced by the same company, and on top of it they even use the same brand name. The famous “Beetle” by Volkswagen came back and Mini Cooper as well.
Another example between the old and the new in design, can be made by those cars which actually traveled through time by… staying with us. The famous classic ex-military Jeep went from one improvement to another, without ever leaving us, one could say since the beginning of cars. Likewise did the Porsche 911…
One other “design trick” worth mentioning is the method in which one combines the new with some old. Meaning that you create an all new design, but you let some parts slip back to the company’s past. BMW applied this method to its roadster Z3 (my favorite, when regarding looks and beauty) and it did sell more than expected at its time, remaining a head turner to this day!
In a similar fashion cars of the past were designed into a look “that would last” and not to be replaced or “face-lifted” every other week. So they were, kind of, created into a look which would give you the confidence that this could be your “forever” car… This attitude was reflected also into the actual car beyond its design. Many of them were “built to last”. Let us not forget that in many occasions computers were called-in not only in order to push things ahead in constant progress motion, but also to reduce the production costs, and create a “product for consumption” which finally lacked in personality, resembling more to a… toaster than to a car.
With time everything changes, and cars have changed a great deal. There is one element however which survived above designs, mechanical perfection and overall improvement…  Back then and now, one thing remained unchanged…
The love and passion of a driver for his iron horse…

They don’t drive them like they used to…
Compared to the past are drivers themselves better or worse?!
If we are to give a subjective answer to this we must take all facts into consideration… Nevertheless, to put this plain and simple in a single line, the answer to this is definitely no.
There are many reasons for this… but we must start somewhere! The fact is that driving conditions have dramatically changed. We have more cars out there than ever before and this number keeps climbing. No part of this planet escapes this… More and more roads are being constructed but still we are… flooded by the number of cars. This alone has radically changed car manufacturers’ philosophy, laws on transportation, cars themselves and in extend of all that it has affected drivers themselves.
The winding road, in order to enjoy a carless drive, just a couple of miles from where you lived, is now a busy street full of trucks and signs with limitations… Don’t do this, don’t do that, don’t turn here, don’t park there, we watch you here we photograph you there and above all keep your speed limit up to a… yawn.

Listen youngsters: Today, in order to become a skilled driver, you’ll have to specifically target it. You must gradually work your way up, making the right choices. Magazines on cars (more of them absent in the past) play-station… 7 (I know… I’m just kidding) and endless internet info won’t “cut it”. And I know best since I do all of this, too!!! You need to get out there, go the extra miles to find that forgotten winding road, and drive. That’s all there is to it…
One logical and well put question which I often hear in discussions about cars is the following: How can it be that cars have become overall better, safer, faster, and with huge amount of horsepower, comparing to the past, and drivers have gone the other way?!
The answer is quite simple…
It is exactly those qualities which have turned cars from being “wild horses” into “tamed rides”. Going faster means practically nothing, because driving, in a “Carman” sense, is all about control. Try out the limits of an oldie, which has no electronic protection, sophisticated suspension, automatic transmission, and so on and so forth… but do so in the rain! Shortly put, your grandfather’s average family car could consume your entire attention for keeping it on the road, if you would twist and turn with “pedal to the metal”. And every grandchild had one thing on its mind back then… When would it be time to take it for a spin? Now if you start your first miles with a fat SUV (a category which didn’t even exist for the previous generation) forget skilled driving… And unfortunately the same goes for those two seated “city” cars, mostly seen in dense populated cities of Europe, that look and have the size of an ugly… insect. These are moving… elevators. They can only transport you from one place to the other, there is nothing for you to drive.
If you need to go downtown take a taxi, the metro, the bus, ride a bike. These cars are not city cars as they are advertised, and they are not even environment friendly, since there are so many of them. The key word here is “parking-car”. It is as far as this “inspiration” goes…
Now don’t take this wrong, I’m not a “good all times” person, neither a “new is best” type. Everything depends on consideration! Today’s cars can provide learning, and are all-around better, BUT, only when you have earned it, by making the thoughtful research, the right choice and then put a few things into practice.
Two are the vital points in becoming a skilled driver… Of course it is the right car, but even before that, it is being fully attentive when driving, fully absorbed by driving…
One girl had it better said…

“The illegal race chick” …
I would not call any girl or woman a “chick”, but I have no other term for this one. She was shown on TV driving a Subaru Impreza Sti in an unauthorized night street race in Russia… The reporter approached her “smoking” car sticking the microphone to her face trying to make a point on… speed safety. At the specific moment and environment the question sounded as naive as asking a tiger why it had claws. But the answer, which came through a beautiful smile, was totally unexpected and surprisingly mature, and I recall it like this: “…what we do is not dangerous, because when we drive we are fully committed to what we do. We are not distracted by cell-phones or conversations with passengers. We have no moments of abstraction by what we see, and we leave absentminded thinking for later. We are 100 percent there…”
Ah… can I add something?! “Ride on baby…”

Color wars
…no, no, this is the wrong subtitle! It should be “Νο more colors”.
There are no color wars between cars anymore, in a sense that you try and buy a car that is beautiful as springtime, let us say… According to sold numbers that are given by car manufactories the majority of them are: black for Europe, white for the States and silver in Asia. And as we know none of them is an actual color… If memory serves, the next favorite on the list is grey, and that isn’t a genuine color either. What happened to real happy colors anyway?!
When talking about appearance and design, number one is the actual shape and lines of a car and next to that comes color… In fact you can have an excellent design on a car and totally ruin it by choosing the “wrong” color. It is worth to mention that during the writing of this text I even discovered “special editions” of cars, officially produced by carmakers, which are… blacker than black! Like inside out black, up and down black, and all around black… Beats me…

Nowadays, in order to see a nice color we have only exceptions to the rule…
Sometimes I think that I should add some photos along with my texts (and in this text it happened more than once) but then again that would kill imagination. Nevertheless for those who would like to “see what I mean” it is easy to find two examples of brand new car-colors which are “to die for”. Both of them where introduced recently by the same car company. 
One is named “Valencia Orange metallic” and is produced only for the BMW 1M Coupe (for now at least). Got to see this… And the other is a breathtaking… yellow, under the name “Atacamagelb” (yes, this is German!) which came new for the first time on a BMW Z4 Roadster. This one is even a non-metallic that comes with a logical extra charge… One might say, rightfully “now you got us an orange and a lemon”. But please keep in mind that variations of colors are limitless.
Sad thing is, car companies bring them on the market, and discontinue them soon after, since there is no demand in order to keep them there.
Why choose a black, white or grey?!

The worst of car color is black. Is this a personal opinion?! No it isn’t, because I would not exclude anything from a pallet… But any designer with some experience will tell you that black color on a car completely absorbs the lines, figure and shape of its design… That’s why you will rarely or never see it on the front page of a brochure, especially when a car is making its prime entrance on the market (and it’s not just a “face-lift” add). 
Back in the ‘70s black cars were rare. The only people to prefer black on a car were… politicians (black is serious and politicians are usually in desperate need for serious impressions). And of course there was always…Batman with his Bat-mobile. Maybe people today wish to combine the looks and status of a politician and the… dynamic of the dark Knight. The question “why did you choose black” is on an automated mode when I put it, and I’ve been practicing it every other day.
The usual answer is honest, at least it’s that! “Black is impressive, you impose yourself…” And I could not disagree on that, since even in Feudal Japan black was considered a warriors color…
But today’s “black car owners” who go into this direction in order to make an impression of something which they clearly are not, usually look like Fat-man.
This attitude could be something equivalent to the “standard” guy who limits his movie repertoire on “men’s adventure films” films where you see people kill each other off all the time, but them/themselves have a job behind a desk and are wrapped up in a tie. Does this mean that the next doors hit-man who works with “contracts” has his shelf full of DVD’s with Pixar movies?! Who knows?! 

We live primarily with ourselves… and only after that, with everybody else. A schoolboy knows that, but do we act like that?! So, why not choose a color which makes you happy and impresses yourself first and make the world around us more beautiful?! Wanna play dark Knight as well?! Register at a Dojo, they usually got late night lessons as well, when it’s really… black!

Intelligent snow solution
Some things one cannot avoid but repeat… I have an admiration for Scandinavians! And they are proven to be good drivers, too. In the field of sports-driving they always stood out, from rallying to Formula 1… “Killed in action” Ronnie Peterson, a Swede, was my childhood hero. He looked and acted like a prince!
These “upper” countries have so much snow all the time (…and gravel) I’m quite positive they have very few, if at all, Sunday drivers…
Unlike Scandinavians I have the luxury and choice to avoid driving in snow because where I live it seldom snows anyway… But just for the record, I gained whatever experience in driving, mostly while pushing my limits on remote winding country roads, on the mountains. And as well on (remote again) gravel roads on islands…   
A driver should take advantage on any given situation he has at hand… If for example you were to live in Great Britain, then driving in the rain would do fine, too. And if you speak your “Carman” correctly you’ll understand that I don’t mean driving to work!

Bottom line, when it snows I like to stay home… But then again you know Murphy’s Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"…and when it does, it will be at the worse time and place… shall I add. So, I caught my self more than once in heavy snow, or shall I say in a blizzard!
Did I mention that I hate snow?! This is because among all other terrains, in snow you have no idea what you’re driving on and waits for you underneath that white “blanket”.   

Driving in snow means the following options: You put on winter tires and have it done with, or you leave your normal tires and you put snow-chains on them.
If you intend to meet snow (going for ski, building you a snowman etc.) winter tires is the only viable solution. Plus any back-up you might think of in advance (shovel, heavy clothing, food etc.) and going as far as making the choice of a four wheel drive system (take the shovel and the rest with you anyway…)
But if you intend to avoid snow (going as fast back home, like me) putting on the snow-chains is the solution. And there is (was, as you will see) nothing more stupid and frustrating, from putting chains onto your wheels. A “pure” driver would say: That’s my mechanic’s job!
Some people hold it against women who cannot put chains on their wheels… well add me to the list as well, I don’t mind…
First of all the moment you touch those chains, and start to maneuver them into place, your hands will go from cold to freezing to… non existing (that cold!). “Experts” say that we should wear gloves while doing this and even do some practice before we get to the snow! I’m sorry for my language but I have no other way to say this… Have you ever tried that shit before you advice it?!
But let us suppose (deep breath…) you have those things in your trunk, they are not tied up into a knot from previous use, you know on which axis they are supposed to go on, did put the chains on successfully under snow conditions, you are stiff frozen, wet, dirty and mechanically humiliated… and now you are supposed to… drive with them! Shall I say another dirty word?!
The feeling of driving these things is beyond imagination, if you haven’t done this yourself. You are limited to a… bicycle speed (an old one!) you are on a constant bumping up and down to the point you think your teeth will fall off, the car’s control feels terrible and the suspension suffers severely…

Some might say that they are different types of “chains” these days called “the spider” and so on and so forth. But all of them fall short somehow in giving you what you need without… suffering!
All, except one! An invention of the Scandinavians (from Norway to be exact) called “The AutoSock…” Yes, it is called the sock and it acts like one, too.
Now this you’ll find interesting, to say the least… and no, this is not an advertisement of any kind, its pure driver’s experience.
*Their weight is practically non existing, compared to anything else, because the sock is made out of a kind of synthetic fabric! So, you don’t carry extra weight, the size is minimal and you forget they are there…
*To put them on is a child’s play, it’s just two simple moves… You put the sock over the wheels that provide motion (or most traction in a case of four-wheel-drive) by covering them completely. Now the only remaining uncovered part is the one the car stands on. So you only have to move the car just a little bit (back or forth) and cover the rest. It is even easier than it sounds!
*If the socks are not “perfectly” on, don’t worry, they self-adjust into place as you start driving and this is truly unbelievable unless you see it (there is a related video)
*With the “socks” on the car in now performing like going on snow tires…
 No bumping, no teeth coming off and maximum control of the car…
*You can accelerate, break and turn with normal (for given conditions) car speed!
*When you’re done, they come off easy as they came on and best of all…
*…you can wash them and they are clean as new!
*Last but not least: do they cost a fortune?! No, they don’t!

One might say there must be a drawback… and yes there is! But even that is good news! All car magazines which tested them give the following warning: The car-sock drives so well in the snow, you actually forget the snow, and you might over do your speeding…

Why so excited?!
The AutoSock was a gift from a student of mine. They precautionary lied in the trunk for the winter. I have heard about the enthusiastic tests but I never fell for the advertising, I never do. When I was forced to put them on for the first time, I had found myself, once more, in the middle of nowhere… and in the belly of a blizzard. I was surprised that I even could start without spinning in the thick snow and I expected to go straight into the first corner. From reports on the radio, going back home was next to impossible so I kept driving away and into the night. The only car I met on the way was a heavy 4x4 truck with equipped with “mud and snow” tires…  and I clearly saw the drivers jaw drop to the floor as I waived him goodbye with a smile…
I will never ever part those socks, even if it’s summer… which just gave me an idea! I will try those socks on sand conditions as well, to see if they can pull me out… and I will report back here!

March 2, 2011